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Thursday, August 9, 2018

[Touching Story] The Fear Of Being Alone - Lenin


I remember some months back, I was so afraid of being alone. I was afraid of what I could do without her. I was just afraid it might never work out for me without someone I so much cared about. I would advise friends who were finding it hard to cope with their woman to learn to live without them while I was doing the contrary.

All of a sudden, it all looks like I was being left alone by that someone I cared about and then I had no choice than to just move on. The advise I had always given to friends, had to be used by me also. I had to no choice. I was left alone by that someone I cared about and then I had no choice than to just move on.  I was left alone like no one cared and then everything started to looks like it will never get to be right but it only looks like it will never be right, it got right. Ask me why?
I overcame the fear of being alone. The fact that I was alone left me to started making decisions on my own, learning to be alone, enjoy the solitude, doing things better and I was able to realise the hidden potential in me. It made me better and got the bitter truth about life.

So many persons finds themselves in the same place I found myself but never got got out of there. They tend to enjoy the feeling of betrayal, loves how much it pains them even tought they never want it. They cry themselves out and let the fear of being alone get in their way.


The question now is, how did I move on? First and foremost, I remember again I never expected anything exceptional while in the relationship and thus I was never betrayed when left alone, I was just dissapointed and this made my getting over the fear easier. Actually, I love the quote, "Nothing lasts forever"

LESSON LEARNT: Dont expect much from people so that you wont feel betrayed when left alone. Nothing last forever.
Also, when it all looked like I was alone, I looked at my enviroment, looked at those that have always loved me or even showed a little care to me and thus that was my answer. They helped me, they would show me love, tell me things I loved. I remember again, my friend telling me " It doesnt looks like you missing someone once so special" I just smiled knowing that she was one of the people who made me not to miss that someone once so special. This I did without her consent.

LESSON LEARNT: There is always someone. Enjoy your moment with other people, every bit of it.
I was lucky the split-up or should I call it break-up came at a time I was just too occupied , and maybe that was even why we broke up (smiles), who knows? I would leave home very early and come back home late, looking tired and stressed up. On getting to the bed, I would just sleep off, probably after thinking a little. This made me to get used to being alone knowing there is something more to achieve  the next morning.

LESSON LEARNT: Get occupied. Do something worthwhile.
What are those things I loved most? I love writing to motivate, I love gisting with people, I get more than enough ideas from what they say, I love food especially beans (my bad), I also love music. I would sit with friends, we gist, talk about issues affecting the country and things on how to make our life better. I continued writing, I didnt stop doing that, minutes, hours, I would think of what to write. I remember again, I would be walking and talking to myself on what to put down into writing but I never wrote about all that happened . Actually, I did but I tore it all up.

LESSON LEARNT: Do what you love doing. Keep it up, eat well, stay healthy.
Dont do those things because you hate being alone. Do it because its what you loved doing.
I never kept trying. Trying to find a replacement. Even though I did not intend to replace anyone but I realised, trying made me feel better. It makes me feel I was closer to something, something I never got. I try out a couple of ladies but they all turned me down. When they do, I smile. Turning me down makes me feel better, like I said, it makes me feel close to something.

LESSON LEARNT: Keep trying to make it better for yourself. It will make you feel better.
I realised, I was only being hard on myself. I feel lucky when I realised, my case was different and better. I appreciated myself more when someone told me about what happen. The circumstance, the event, the aftermath was so pathetic. She was so deep in the fear, she was just too alone that she was getting to anyone she could reach and this made it even worse for her to leave the fear zone. Thus, I feel lucky.

LESSON LEARNT: Always appreciate yourself, know that there is someone whose condition is worse to yours.
Whenever I feel lonely or bored, I talk to someone as I find it very easy to share my toughts. I would sit with friends and we talk about it. A lady was very helpful here. We would talk about whats going on and we would even laugh about it. and it made me feel better. I dont just sit and think. It was very helpful.

LESSON LEARNT: Find it easy to share your toughts. In all, talk to someone, not just someone, someone helpful.
Learn to overcome your fear. Fear is a great enemy to everything we do in life; an enemy to self-confidence, to courage, to our achieving our desires, to self-fulfillment. It is not that we dont want to make it right, not that we can not get the best out of being alone. It is just that we are afraid to do what our heart desires. So many of us remain unhaapy with our situation, our heart knows what it wants, we know our values but we never follow it because we are afraid.
Overcome fear in everything not just being alone. Overcome it in every aspect in your life.

Written By;- Adigun Uthman Lenin



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